All that is Gold, Does Not Glitter...

I've Been Living For Tomorrows, All My Life

2006-01-03T10:12:00.000-06:00

Mood: Happeee
Music: In the Shadows- The Rasmus

*yawn* This whole vacation thing is making me really, super lazy. I suppose I'd feel better if I actually had something to do *cough*. But seriously, there's nothing to do. I think I'll be nice and tidy the house for my mum, as she went back to work today.

Do you ever have those dreams that are so totally amazing, and they give the most wonderful feeling you probably have ever felt, and then you wake up and it's all over? That's sort of how I feel right now...like a wicked dream has managed to slip through my fingers.

BAH I'm so bored. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah krljhgoieuhg[0equt476u3tui4jeragkldjrzhiozdy8tiau[0wantu90[awt ...

~Love, Tasha

You Had Me From "Hello"

2006-01-01T18:43:00.000-06:00

Mood: smiley
Music: Brick- Ben Folds Five

Happy New Year!!!!!
No, really...it's new year and therefore we should all be happy/excited.
To me, the new year is always a big deal, because it's a chance to have a fresh beginning, hence the whole point of having at least one New Year's resolution. Alot of people would argue that every moment should be a new beginning and we shouldn't only choose to take action when the first day of the new comes around. I reflect upon each year of my life, and that's why a new one is such a big deal.
I've been reading ALOT lately...I just finished Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, and I have to say, I miss reading it. From the beginning I became totally lost in tat book, unaware of the line between its fictional storyline and my real life. The main character is Japanese, an orphan, a geisha, and a figment of an American man's imagination- yet somehow she was still entirely relatable.
New Year's Eve was such an awesome night, and I owe that firstly to my friends. We went to a bash at the Bohemian Penguin in Belleville and it was a pretty good time. Little bits of drama here and there, as expected, but I met alot of new people. One such person was a guy named Josh, the waiter/bartender. He made me smile.
My year was full of tons of crazy sh*t, but nothing I regret. I suppose that's good, cos...regrets suck. The experiences just get more and more intense as we get older, and though sometimes it was almost like some things were far too much, afterward I always seemed to realize that everything would eventually be fine. Everything happens for a reason, and looking back on the majority of the decisions I've made...I can see why. You have to mourn over certain things, and you have to worry over certain things- but then you need to keep going. I've conquered fears, some ridiculous and others perfectly understandable..and at the moment, it's like I can do pretty much anything. New Year's Eve made me sum myself up as a person. Even if the events of the past couple of days have seemed absolutely surreal.
Does everyone get like this in their New Year's blog? This all sounds so familiar.....anyway, I don't really have much else to say...school in other week...yay? No..lol. But whatever, this term's almost over *tear*.
~Love, Tasha.

Today For You, Tomorrow For Me

2005-12-04T16:59:00.000-06:00

So the month of November was a wicked month.

My eighteenth birthday was on the 12th, which was a Saturday, which meant I could have my buds over, which rocked. Other than being absolutley ecstatic that I am finally old enough to vote, I was also very VERY happy that Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out on the 18th.

K, so how good was that movie? Really frickin' good, I loved it. It was THE BEST ONE yet. The first two were very loyal to the books, the third was directed by a crazy Spanigh guy (which speaks for itself), but the fourth really captured the mood and spirit of what Harry Potter is about.

So now the month is December, and even though have been through so much between my last entry and now, I find it so hard to blog about it. I don't know why. But for real, I'm going o try and remain updated now.

~Love, Tasha

But We All End Up The Remains of the Day

2005-10-28T09:32:00.000-05:00

Mood: MEH
Music: Introducing Colin- John Williams

Woohoo.

Look ma, I'm updating. XD

I wanted to find the right template for my blog, but alas, I have not been successful. However, I have been learning to code my own. It's obviously taking a long time, so now I have a blogger default template. It's SO boring, but I feel the urge to blog.

So many different things have been going on lately. I don't want to name them all because I'm lazy. Though I can say that I've been in the same relationship for more than a month now, school is busy but I'm adapting to staying on top of my work, and my days have been kind of crappy.

This morning my little brother came into the house (he was waiting for the bus), and he tells my mum and I to lock the doors. We look at him and eachother and then carefully ask why. His answer was extremely frightening, as he said there was a man across the street staring in our direction from under the maple tree in the neighbour's yard. This was weird because it wasn't even 7 yet. It was very dark, and when I went to have a look for myself, the most visible part of the man was his white shoes. The rest of him was dark clothing, and he was indeed staring in our direction.

I locked all the doors. Because my imagination runs wild 24/7, the first word that came to my mind was "Callanwolde." Only the people who read "Prince of Tides" would know what I mean. But anyway, my little brother remained in the house and we watched him carefully. Suddenly, he stood, but he still stayed slightly hidden under that tree. I was silently freaking out, wondering what this stranger was up to, and wondering if he would come any closer. The house behind him showed no implication that its inhabitants knew he was there.

Suddenly, a white truck came, slowed down, and picked him up. Both Karlon and I gave a sigh of relief at the same time. But still...who was he, and why was he waiting under that tree in the neighbour's yard? Where did he come from? And if all he was waiting for was a ride, why the hell was he staring at us like he was stalking us or something? Creeeeeeeeepy.......

Halloween is this Monday! Yay! Everyone loves Halloween. And then, on November 12, it's my 18th birthday. The most important thing about next month though, is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 20 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Love, Tasha

Fix You- Coldplay

2005-09-11T22:03:00.000-05:00

Mood: sad
Music: Nadda, at the mo.

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

I promise you

I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.

2005-09-10T23:16:00.000-05:00

Mood: Yet to be determined
Music: Somewhere in My Memory- John Williams

K so I guess after a good conversation with a close friend of mine who knows who he is, I decided that it's time to update my blog.

Before I didn't want to because everything I thought should have been kept to myself. I didn't want to hurt people, offend people, or even let anyone into my world, including the REAL time I had in the three weeks I spent at my dad's house.

Ahem...

The three weeks at my dad's did have to do mostly with tennis and kickboxing. But I also had time to think for myself, as well as time to realize there was a world beyond the area I live right now. Kinda like my trip to Holland.

The time in Ajax built my confidence; made me stronger both physically and mentally. Made me think and challenge what I thought might be a conventional relationship. Then all it took was one cute guy in my kung fu class to make me think things over completely. One cute, intelligent, talented and sweet guy in my kung fu class who idolizes my father to make me think "I don't want this anymore."

It wasn't the guy I was striving for, though I did want to pursue him, in the back of my mind. No, it was the idea of trying something new. I didn't think that I should have to commit myself to future plans if I was a person who was living for the moment. What's the point if my future is altered every second I choose to live my life? That was my reason for breaking things off. That doesn't mean I don't care. That means I was being effing fair to myself and the other party and I think that I have every right to stand up for that. So now that THAT is settled, I'm sure new things come to light for alot of people. Even me.

N.T.S-
Meta Ridley Battle Theme (ignore this)

I hope this school year isn't as crapped-filled as the last one. During my summer vacation, I was able to experience what it felt like to semi-normal. By that, I mean I didn't experience any of that stupid "drama" I used to hear about everyday. I didn't have the need to rant, I didn't lose much sleep, I had the chance to dedicate myself to things I never was able to do before. I wrote freely, I created art freely, I smiled. I was really happy, aside from the fact that my buds weren't there with me to revel in the fact that the grass that was, indeed greener.

I dunno, I'm out of what else to say.

Oh yeah!

If something bad happens to you, and you don't know where to go from there....trust me, it's not the end of the world. People can get over things rather quickly, if they try really hard. Just don't get ahead of yourself, and don't think other people don't notice. Even if they're the ones that hurt you in the first place. ;)

~Love, Tasha

Oh, Denied. And demoted.

2005-08-29T22:51:00.000-05:00

Mood: Reflective.
Music: Beat It- Michael Jackson
It's amazing how you're given a title one moment, and then it can be taken away in the next instant as soon as something goes wrong. Relationships shouldn't come with literal titles. That's one sign that it isn't a very mature one. I hope I don't lose friends over what I did.

I effing miss Ajax. I wanna go home. :(

Going to see Mark, David and Caitlin tomorrow, and it's about time. We need a good hangout session before we all swallow our prides and go for a "victory lap" at St. Paul's.

Usually around this time I get all excited to go back to school, and I wind up posting my schedule. Well, guess what? No schedules until the first day of school. :( teh suckses, I know.

Choir starts next Wednesday. Crazy!! Haven't sang choral in a very long time. I'll be rusty.

Well, I've got nothing else to say. Hm.

~Love, Tasha

2005-08-27T13:47:00.000-05:00

Mood: grumpy
Music: Somewhere Only We Know- Keane

Coming home from Ajax tomorrow.

I don't really want to. Aside from the fact that I miss all my best buds and I want to take my extra year of highschool.

I'm going to miss my dad's class alot. It took me the opportunity to start up kung fu and kickboxing again to remind me of how much I missed it. Now that I've gotten used to doing it almost every other night, I'm going to feel kind of shitty without it. I'm gonna miss the Habib brothers, those two that made me so envious of their progress yet adoring at the same time, and therefore motivated me to do the class as often as possible. :p

The club in general is like my home, despite the fact that I have to put up with those bloody boxers. They play the Rocky theme song every single day. As if that song wasn't overplayed already, right? I don't need to justify my annoyance, lol.

I was having a pretty good summer with that crappy knee of mine. It has been a year and a few months since I hurt it, and it hadn't bothered me at all lately, not even on the court or the floor. THEN, yesterday during class, it gave out during a jumping kick. It was actually not as embarassing or painful as it always is. Just frustrating. I wasn't wearing my brace.

No, Ajax! I don't want to leave you!! :'(

Seriously, going to places that are a billion times better than Trenton, Frankford and Belleville just make it more apparent that those places suck.

~Love, Tasha.

tashaxda@hotmail.com *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

Oh Emmm Geeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!

2005-08-23T15:08:00.000-05:00

I cannot wait for the new Harry Potter movie.

Cedric Diggory= <3

In the library, waiting for dad. Then tennis. Hurrah. Is Garth back yet? Welcome back, Garth.

~Love, Tasha

P.S.- Will probably stay in Ajax a little longer. No problem, means more classes.....tee hee.

"Don't Go Downstairs, Jackie. The World's Gone Mad."

2005-08-22T16:38:00.000-05:00

Mood: content, somewhat.
Music: Beautiful Things- Emm Gryner

I always seem to be exposed to the most interesting of people when I come here, to the library. Right now there seems to be a rather spaced-out couple beside me, whispering in some sort of language I have never heard before. When I came up the stairs they greeted me with looks of recognition and slight contempt, though I have never seen them before in my life...duh Duh DUH! = O

Anywho, things have been alright here, though I have yet ton hear what's going on over in the Quinte area. Friends, where have you gone?

The other day there was a hectic storm. I was actually making a post in the library, but then the power went out. My brother and I were stuck here until the rain let out, but it wasn't showing many signs of stopping, so we made a run for it. We got home and were completely soaked, but opened the door only to let Niagara Falls fall out of our door. The gym had flooded, and was halfway up our legs at first.

The neighbours weere having the same problem, and together we swept water out of both units. Everything, including my father's collapsible ring (sp?) Got soaked. My little brother and I pulled the mats up before Dad came home, and when he did the episode was pretty much coming to an end. That was three days ago, and the first floor gym is still kinda damp. And of course, Tiller, the man who trains boxers while my father works, took credit for clearing the gym himself. We could hear several renditions of his story throughout the day to his students, telling them everything we told him, except puting his name in our place. Grr.

Whatever, I guess.

Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and so we went to Grandma's to see her and the rest of my dad's side of the family. He's 46, but claims that he's merely 36 for the tenth year in a row. Not that he couldn't get away with thirty-six. As a present to himself, he bought the Sin City DVD, which proved beneficial to the entire family. I liked t. Not as much as I hoped I would, but I still found it really good/cool and there were many actors that "tickled my fancy." Tee hee.

Anyway, going now. Dad should be home soon.

~Love, Tasha.

P.S.- email me, you bastards! :p

2005-08-15T13:39:00.000-05:00

Mood: Meh
Music: 1000 Words- Jade (FF)

I'm at the library again....hurrah!

There's not much else to do during the day around here. Then again, I'm lying. But I've been working for the most part since I've woken up, and now I'm just taking some time to do the things I really wanted to do this summer. I came to the library in order to get out and have to walk a bit. I also came here in order to check my email. But the other reasons I came here are to research and to write. I'm not sure what I'm researching yet, but I think I'll find out once I've started the writing part. And now I'm babbling.

Tara and Kelly's wedding was absolutely beautiful. They make such a wonderful coupe, and I feel that those of us who attended and are somewhat close to them felt something completely genuine while being there. I can't believe I didn't cry. I was on the brim of doing so but managed to hold back. It was really nice, and YUM for the food/cake. :p

I forgot to mention a few posts back that Buffy had her kittens. Six of them, but one died, despite the efforts of Mark and I to keep it alive. Their names are Harry, Xavier, Geppetto, Sméagol and Zara.

Hmmm....

What else do I have to say?

School is starting again soon...Oh my! And while I don't have the semi-nightmare of my little brother going to the same school as me, he's still going to be on the same bus. I'll be one of the only seniors there, and I know I'll be thoroughly annoyed by his friends...

I miss my friends. I got to hang out with them at the wedding and at Mrs. Stacey's 50th birthday party, but it wasn't long enough. I have no idea what we're all going to do when we go off to our respective post-secondary locations.

Anyway, I'm going to stop wasting time on this meaningless entry.

~Love, Tasha.

2005-08-09T18:49:00.000-05:00

So, I'm at the Ajax Public Library at the moment, because, like every summer, I go to my dad's for a few weeks and he does not have the internet.

So far it's been pretty fun, I suppose. It's not easy hanging out with people my age here unless they're kids of my dad's friends. So basically, I've been keeping myself busy with stuff like reading, writing, drawing and gaming. I've also been able to take advantage of the fact that my father has a gym, so lately I've been able to take up kickboxing again, and a new sport, which is tennis. I started a couple of days ago, I have a crappy raquet, but I'm still coming along well.

My GOD! TWO days until Tara and Kelly's wedding! I miss my friends so much, I can't wait to see them and also witness the best weding I will ever be to aside from the wedding of my closest buds.

I dunno. I want to go to school already.

I have a job here at my dad's, recording sales for this one company. It's pretty boring, but I work when I want, and when there is a day's worth of sales recorded, I get paid $40. I'm also working as my father's secretary/assistant, and also as a person who goes to fairs, concerts and other interesting places to sell jewelery (sp?) for a woman named Evelyn.

So I guess I'm busy enough, but I still feel like I need to sort quite a few things out. I talked to both Mark and Caitlin today, and they could sense the exasperation in my voice. I wonder what's going on. But I'm sure that things will son become clear.

~Love, Tasha.

E-mail me, somebody!

tashaxda@hotmail.com

P.S.- Watch Constantine. Awesome movie.

"Welcome home, IDIOT!!"

2005-07-18T22:59:00.000-05:00

Mood: shocked.
Music: "My Family" playing in the background.

My head hurts, I'm in SO much shock.

Okay, so I finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince yesterday. Wtf, MATE?! R.I.P character that gets killed...:( Most shocking thing evar, though the Half-Blood Prince becomes obvious. However, the book was BRILLIANT to the extreme, and by far my most favourite one, taking the place of Prisoner of Azkaban. Beautifully done.

My cat still has yet to give birth, and this frustrates the family a little. The calender says she's due, so really, we're all walking on eggshells still, waiting for any moment where she could go into labour. She'll need someone to be there with her.

I applied for another job today, at a convenience store in town. Easiest resume to hand in, as Koty was working.

But anyway, now for the HUGEST shock of the day. I enjoy the show called 15/Love, it's so cool and has all the necessary components: teenagers, comedy, real-life situations and tennis. Wicked. But today I saw for the third time the episode where they find out two characters, Meghan and Sebatien, died. Extremely sad, leaving audience to say "wtf?" I noticed only this time (yes, how effing perceptive of me), that at the end of the episode it said "For Jaclyn and Vadim". My heart sank as I thought "Oh. My. God." Those are the real names of the actors who played the deceased. Just recently, I looked it up: they really did pass away, in a carwreck. I still can't believe it. This happened in TWO THOUSAND AND THREE, and I had no idea. I knew the girl who voiced the popular cartoon "Caillou" passed away in a car crash, but I had no idea and didn't make the connection that it was the very same girl. How horrible is that? They were only seventeen years old...

Okay, enough about me being a big loser about two actors dying, but seriously, I hate when I found out years after. River Phoenix, Jonathan Brandis, That girl that played the yellow ranger, and now Jaclyn and Vadim...

Anyway, I'm tired, and therefore out.

~Tasha

You Take My Breath Away, With all the Things You Say.

2005-07-15T22:44:00.000-05:00

Mood: hyper, hyper, Hyper, HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Music: Don't Cha- Pussycat Dolls

K...Just had to do something with myself due to the fact that there is TWELVE MINUTES until Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is published.

Ms. Buffy is due any day now, and so I have to stay close to home to assist her in her delivery.

Soon after midnight I'll have to get to sleep so that I can wake up at seven and go to Trenton to pick up my copy of the book. After that, I'm afraid I'll appear missing.

Going to go now. Blogging unimportant...

~Tasha

P.S- I'm tired of being so bloody emo...or atleast frustrated with how effing emo I've been in the past. I've decided to stop taking things so seriously. Yep.

2005-07-14T17:51:00.000-05:00

Mood: Hyper!
Music: Speed of Sound- Coldplay

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Ooooooo!!!!!!
Dis blog's all shiny and new! ^^

It took me a while to figure out which template I really wanted. I tweaked three others I found until finaly settling on this one, because it is pretty, simple, and readable.

Now that I'm here, I should probably update.

Went to and camped out at the beach two days ago. During the day it was just Dan, Phill and I. It was rather nice, though I got really tanned and have these two huge triangles on my chest from my bathing suit. :p Teh night came, however, along with Caitlin, Eric and Justin, and the GD'd mosquitos. Everyone was very pissy by sunrise. =/ It was worth it though, because not only did I get to spend time with Eric, Caitlin, Dan and Justin, but I was able to spend time with Phill. It was lovely.

Not much else has been happening. Haven't gotten a full-on call back from Dimitri's pizzeria, though they called my reference. It looks more like I will wind up working at McDonald's, thanks to a suggestion from Eric.

I'm still not believing I left Livejournal! Whatever, though. I needed a change. Change is good. The rest of the day will now be dedicated to dishes, drawing, and cleaning my room. It's so messy and I want it to be clean for when I shut myself in it to read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which comes out in less than TWO DAYS! Omg!!! XD

Seriously, I'm very excited. On Saturday morning, my mum is taking me to pick up my copy. I lurve my mummy. I've got butterflies in my stomach and the Harry Hype is rising. Second last book, my friends. It's almost over!!! :o When it gets this close, it's super hard to be patient. Even moreso than when we found out it was finished.

K. So now after wasting the afternoon doing useless things like coding and watching Oprah (which I NEVER do), I will now get to the things on my to do list. Buh Bye, LJ, and Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooo Blogspot/tagboard!!! ^^ Hopefully after I'll have time to progress on KH, which I haven't been doing in a while. It's funny though, my big brother has a new-found addiction to PS2, so I may have to fight him for it! :p

Eeeee! It's thundering outside. Storm!!!

::Woosh::

~Tasha